Friday, April 25, 2008


Its your time. Its my time. Its ten thoughts time.

#10 Train A leaves St. Louis headed east at 6:30PM traveling 70 mph. Train B leaves D.C. headed west at 4:00PM traveling 65 mph. When do the trains meet? Why was that always the example of a hard standardized test question? I'm not chomping at the bit to answer it, but it's not that hard. Not to mention has anyone ever actually seen this question on an actual test before?

#9 After winning the Presidential Nomination, Lincoln grew a beard because a little girl wrote him a letter saying he should. How cool is that?

#8 Evidently, back in Lincoln's day, neck-beards were in style. More proof I was born in the wrong era. I could grow an excellent one. People would say, "hey man! awesome neck beard!"

#7 I often mention nostalgic things from childhood in these, so I'll do the opposite now. I hated Nickelodeon shows as a kid. Hey Dude, Salute your Shorts, Doug, Rocko's Modern Life, Pete & Pete, Wild & Crazy Kids, all grade-A pieces of television garbage. The only good thing to come out of Nickelodeon in the last 25 years: David the Gnome! His show was off the chain.

#6 Tom has been rooming it up with me for about four months now, but he still hasn't fully realized what Tucker is capable of. Tucker helped himself to Tom's Taco Bell the other night, and his container Strawberry milk mix yesterday morning. If he thinks its edible (and his standards are quite low I assure you) Tucker WILL eat whatever you leave out.

#5 A slight disclaimer. As wedding season is now upon us, I'll be attending blessed event after blessed event in the next few months. But just so you know, I judge you by the details of you wedding festivities. Was there recorded music at any point? Did someone in your family drink too much? Do you have a picture on display with both of you wearing jeans and a white shirt? Did you smush the cake in each other's face? These are all bad things fyi.

#4 Developmental psychologists have all sorts of methods of delineating the endpoints between their arbitrary stages in life. Allow me to propose my own. Childhood officially ends when you come to the realization that McDonald's is disgusting.

#3 The liberal arts education is a complete fraud. Liberal arts meant in Roman times the abilities belonging to a free person, code for well-to-do. So what's important as a wealthy Roman? Why, rhetoric and poetry and such since you never have to do any real work in your life. Therefore, the the liberal arts education was originally very utilitarian. Now its just esoteric. Don't get me wrong, I like rhetoric and poetry, but those aren't very utilitarian subjects to a middle-class American male.

#2 Mike Hampton is hurt. In related news, dogs bark and water is wet.

#1 One of the things I loved about staying at my Grandparent's as a child was the fact I could eat all the lucky charms I wanted for breakfast (honeynut cheerios was as sweet as it got at my house growing up.) But now that I am perfectly at liberty to gorge myself on lucky charms, I don't really care for them anymore. One of life's little gotcha's.


Hill Family said...

Laughed several times... Cavett just had his first taste of LC in Grand Saline, not sure he even knows about Mc'yD's, who is Hampton, you sound like quite the wedding snob now :), and I don't remember any of those Nick shows, but how about You Can't DO that on TV???

We missed you today.

Anonymous said...

David the Gnome! You loved him! And you were pretty little too. I think I passed the wedding test!