Friday, August 29, 2008

Jonny's Thoughts on the Campaigns

Holy Schnikees! Did y'all see McCain's VP pick?

But before I discuss his pick, let's see where Jonny's coming from. I saw some footage on the Daily Show of McCain at the motorcycle rally a while back and listening to him stumble through his speech I turned to Tom and said, "Sweet Christmas! John McCain is GOING to lose this election." And I still think that was a reasonable conclusion. McCain really can't sell himself. Why?

McCain Cons:
- He's Ooooooooooooold, like, don't touch him without gloves on cause your body oil could cause him to spontaneously decompose, old. Old doesn't sell. Our culture unfortunately worships at the altar of youth. Were it not for other circumstances, he really would be Bob Dole #2.

- He's running for the same party as the incredibly unpopular Bush

- "100 more years in Iraq"

- Most important, he can't energize the conservative base because of his unorthodox positions for a Rebuplican on some issues like immigration and campaign finance. But at the same time, his war stance prevents him from gaining the moderate vote which he might otherwise attract.

So, what's an old geezer to do? Well, whoever is running McCain's campaign is a freaking genius. He or she has realized the only way for McCain to win is to run the most negative campaign in history (no value judgments intended with that statement.) Playing up the Right's fear of Obama is the only and most effective way for McCain to energize them.

Now enter Gov. Palin (a name I kinda like cause it sounds like paladin and makes me think of Warcraft. That thought is gonna stick in your head too, you're welcome.) This pick does a couple of things.

1. Conventional wisdom says your VP pick shows where you think you're weak. So, Obama picking Biden is a defacto admission of a lack of experience they would say. So how does that work on McCain? He picked a young chick. Whats he gonna do? Deny he's old? Or a dude?

2. McCain's been trying to woo the bitter Hillary crowd. A chick VP may feel like a shallow attempt by some of them to lure them, but it will work on some others. Its like asking some one if they want a hot dog. "I don't know, I don't know if I want a hot dog." "Well, what if I put some chili on it?"

3. While a black Pres. is still better than a chick VP for progress-for-progress'-sakers, the addition of a disenfranchised candidate on the ticket does usurp some of Obama's mantra and sexiness.

4. Palin being an ATV saleslady and otherwise an outdoors-woman and a pro-lifer helps excites a few more far right votes, but not many.

So, with all that said, I still think I'd bet on Obama to win if I had to bet on somebody. But I just wanted to give some dap to the savy folks running Old Man River's campaign.

As for me, there's a chance Ron Paul will actually make it on the LA ballot, which would make me a happy happy Panda.


I'm getting married.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008


On a sad note, DMB saxophonist LeRoi Moore has passed away from complications after an ATV accident. So, I encourage you to dust off your old "Under the Table and Dreaming" and "Crash" CDs and savor the dulcet tones of Mr. Moore. His solo on #41 was always one of my favorites. God Bless.

The Best Jokes Aren't Planned

So Amber had to pick a book to read from a short list for her weekend seminar class. The dialog between her and I went a little something like this:

Amber: "I'd kinda like to read 'Counseling Poor Families' but it's really expensive."

Me: "Wow........"

Amber: "What?"

Me: "Well......that's like......terribly ironic."

Amber: (laughs for like 3 minutes)

Thursday, August 7, 2008

A Trip in Numbers

So, what the heck has little Jonny been up to these days?! I'll tell you numerically.

-3500, miles driven (Shreveport to Tampa to Nashville to Chicago to Shreveport)

-3, days on the beach

-6, Major Musical Awards for acts seen (3 Tonys for Wicked, 3 Grammys by the Bluegrass group at the Station Inn in Nashville)

-35,000, the rumored dollar amount of Neags' wedding budget

- 25, minutes on the subway from the hotel to downtown Chicago

-17, number of times the weird Chicago people dinged on their glasses at the recption (which evidently means the bride and groom have to kiss, not that someone has an anouncement)

-3, new brands of beer tried

-21 to 1, the score when Amber and Danny attempted to play native Chicagoans in a game of "Bags" (a bewilderingly popular game of throwing bean bags into wooden holes)

-217, the total pages of college football preview magazines read while on the beach

-350, the approximate dollar amount spent on gas round trip

-1, number of "War Eagle"s received at the Art Institute of Chicago when I wore an AU shirt

-94, the story of the observatory at the Hancock Tower

-1, number of ice chests accidentally left in the bed of Craigo's wife's truck in Nashville

-3, number of hours it took for us to realize there was a soccer game at soldier field next to the natural history museum and that's why we were getting run over by Latinos

-25, number of miles we took as a detour just to get some chicken biscuits Monday morning in Memphis