Crazy Khrushchev

At the height of the cold war, Nikita Sergeyevich Khrushchev had a famous incident wherein he took off his shoe and banging on the table shouted, "Your children will grow up in communism!" Surely, this must have felt like a moment of triumph for the powers-that-were in the U.S. at the time. If this was their opponent's most eloquent argument, the West would certainly prevail. Well, it's been about a generation since, why don't we check in on old Niki's prognostications.

So what separated us greedy capitalists from the dirty commies? If this were Family Feud, I'd try to convince you all take make our final guess "free markets." But how free are they? Two government-chartered lending institutions who hold a vast majority of the U.S.'s mortgages have found themselves in deed poo. Bailouts are always tricky things. How does anyone learn from bad decisions if the government now provides a safety net? Where's the incentive for wise decision making then? But these two jokers didn't just get a bailout. Oh no. Tweedle-Dee and Tweedle-Dum here got straight-up taken over by the Feds. That sounds like a fact you here on NPR and barely give it a second thought, but let that soak in for a second. Uncle Sam (or Big Brother Samuel as Tom and I call him) now owns something like 70% of the homes in America technically. (And Bill Clinton said the era of big government was over.) But the fun hasn't stopped there. Now congress is talking about establishing some department to take on even more of these private companies' bad mortgages.

I propose Niki was not a raving fool. I think he understood something most American are blind to, being this: government's primary behavior is always to sustain and expand itself. And whatever new role or power it undertakes, it never relinquishes. Even a country founded as purly on the principle of self-governance as America needs but a few hundred years of crises before the masses clamor for the federal government to assume greater and greater roles. This is how liberty dies, not with a dramatic, punctuated, and obvious conflict, but through the unintended consequences of well-meaning knee-jerk reactions.

I fear we may be only years away from a law stating mortgages may only be handed out by the federal government. (For our protection of course.) And then, I feel a certain Mr. Khrushchev's sour countenance will change to victorious grin in his grave.

Jonny's Thoughts on the Campaigns

Holy Schnikees! Did y'all see McCain's VP pick?

But before I discuss his pick, let's see where Jonny's coming from. I saw some footage on the Daily Show of McCain at the motorcycle rally a while back and listening to him stumble through his speech I turned to Tom and said, "Sweet Christmas! John McCain is GOING to lose this election." And I still think that was a reasonable conclusion. McCain really can't sell himself. Why?

McCain Cons:
- He's Ooooooooooooold, like, don't touch him without gloves on cause your body oil could cause him to spontaneously decompose, old. Old doesn't sell. Our culture unfortunately worships at the altar of youth. Were it not for other circumstances, he really would be Bob Dole #2.

- He's running for the same party as the incredibly unpopular Bush

- "100 more years in Iraq"

- Most important, he can't energize the conservative base because of his unorthodox positions for a Rebuplican on some issues like immigration and campaign finance. But at the same time, his war stance prevents him from gaining the moderate vote which he might otherwise attract.

So, what's an old geezer to do? Well, whoever is running McCain's campaign is a freaking genius. He or she has realized the only way for McCain to win is to run the most negative campaign in history (no value judgments intended with that statement.) Playing up the Right's fear of Obama is the only and most effective way for McCain to energize them.

Now enter Gov. Palin (a name I kinda like cause it sounds like paladin and makes me think of Warcraft. That thought is gonna stick in your head too, you're welcome.) This pick does a couple of things.

1. Conventional wisdom says your VP pick shows where you think you're weak. So, Obama picking Biden is a defacto admission of a lack of experience they would say. So how does that work on McCain? He picked a young chick. Whats he gonna do? Deny he's old? Or a dude?

2. McCain's been trying to woo the bitter Hillary crowd. A chick VP may feel like a shallow attempt by some of them to lure them, but it will work on some others. Its like asking some one if they want a hot dog. "I don't know, I don't know if I want a hot dog." "Well, what if I put some chili on it?"

3. While a black Pres. is still better than a chick VP for progress-for-progress'-sakers, the addition of a disenfranchised candidate on the ticket does usurp some of Obama's mantra and sexiness.

4. Palin being an ATV saleslady and otherwise an outdoors-woman and a pro-lifer helps excites a few more far right votes, but not many.

So, with all that said, I still think I'd bet on Obama to win if I had to bet on somebody. But I just wanted to give some dap to the savy folks running Old Man River's campaign.

As for me, there's a chance Ron Paul will actually make it on the LA ballot, which would make me a happy happy Panda.

BTW

I'm getting married.

R.I.P.

On a sad note, DMB saxophonist LeRoi Moore has passed away from complications after an ATV accident. So, I encourage you to dust off your old "Under the Table and Dreaming" and "Crash" CDs and savor the dulcet tones of Mr. Moore. His solo on #41 was always one of my favorites. God Bless.

The Best Jokes Aren't Planned

So Amber had to pick a book to read from a short list for her weekend seminar class. The dialog between her and I went a little something like this:

Amber: "I'd kinda like to read 'Counseling Poor Families' but it's really expensive."

Me: "Wow........"

Amber: "What?"

Me: "Well......that's like......terribly ironic."

Amber: (laughs for like 3 minutes)

A Trip in Numbers

So, what the heck has little Jonny been up to these days?! I'll tell you numerically.

-3500, miles driven (Shreveport to Tampa to Nashville to Chicago to Shreveport)

-3, days on the beach

-6, Major Musical Awards for acts seen (3 Tonys for Wicked, 3 Grammys by the Bluegrass group at the Station Inn in Nashville)

-35,000, the rumored dollar amount of Neags' wedding budget

- 25, minutes on the subway from the hotel to downtown Chicago

-17, number of times the weird Chicago people dinged on their glasses at the recption (which evidently means the bride and groom have to kiss, not that someone has an anouncement)

-3, new brands of beer tried

-21 to 1, the score when Amber and Danny attempted to play native Chicagoans in a game of "Bags" (a bewilderingly popular game of throwing bean bags into wooden holes)

-217, the total pages of college football preview magazines read while on the beach

-350, the approximate dollar amount spent on gas round trip

-1, number of "War Eagle"s received at the Art Institute of Chicago when I wore an AU shirt

-94, the story of the observatory at the Hancock Tower

-1, number of ice chests accidentally left in the bed of Craigo's wife's truck in Nashville

-3, number of hours it took for us to realize there was a soccer game at soldier field next to the natural history museum and that's why we were getting run over by Latinos

-25, number of miles we took as a detour just to get some chicken biscuits Monday morning in Memphis

Rain

So, if you were in Shreveport this week, you might have noticed it rained. A lot. So, I had resolved to give Tucker a bath the night it started to flood and figured, "well, I'm gonna get nasty wet washing Tucker and he needs walking too........" So I put on a swimsuit and a T-shirt and Tucker and I took our walk as if it was a normal day. At the corner of Greenway and Stratford, it was deep enough for Tucker to dog-paddle. As I haven't played in the rain since I was a kid, it was quite enjoyable. I recommend it if you don't mind passing drivers looking at you funny.